For the past four years this has been a major part of my life - everything has revolved around degree work. It was the result of a lifelong ambition to take an arts degree and I have loved every minute.
There have been times it has been so all consuming that I've felt as though I've wanted to give it all up, but that feeling never lasted long. I have learned so much and been stretched in directions I never thought possible. I've discovered new artists and new ways of working. It has taken my work places I never imagined. It has enriched my life.
I was looking forward to starting my dissertation in September and excited that in less than two years I would be having a degree show in a London gallery. And now I feel that has all been taken away.
Middlesex university has an obligation to provide a suitable alternative to all its students yet it remains to be seen whether this will be a viable option - it is unlikely to be distance learning which I have found to be best for fitting around my work and family commiments and I would imagine the cost will go up too.
I know the time and money invested so far have not been wasted - I have already gained so much - but it feels incomplete. I have already decided to continue with some of the work I have started for my current module, but without the tutition, while I see what the future will hold. Somehow and somewhere I know I want to finish this degree.
But I do feel numb, lost without direction. I'm trying to embrace the change and take the chance of some time to focus on other things - the numerous half finished projects, my garden, open studios... even myself. I have been tired for four years!
Even this blog was started as a way for me to record my progress through the degree... I never really saw it lasting more than the six years of the course... but I don't think I'm ready to abandon it just yet. Guess the tagline on my header will have to be changed.
The photographs are a random selection of things I've done over the past four years - just a tiny selection because I have done so much. (One job to do is sort out all the photographs!)
Some are just samples or works in progress others are finished projects.
I guess none of us knows what the future may hold.
I would like to to finish by thanking Winy and Willem Smit and Sandra Flower, who when the original school Opus closed a little over two years ago, stepped in and founded the new school, investing heavily of their time and own money. They have worked tirelessly to make it work providing excellent course material and tutors and yet circumstances beyond their control have forced this decision. Yesterday was a sad day for a lot of people, especially them.