You may have noticed from my last blog post, which felt as jumbled and incoherent as my brain at the moment, that I seem to be doing too much. Trying to juggle too many balls at once with the result that I'm making mistakes, I'm constantly tired and I hardly ever seem to finish things when I start them. It has been clear for some time that something has to give and for many reasons it has been on my mind that maybe it was time to wind up my little baking business.
Started two years ago, it was something I had dreamed of doing for a long time, having always loved baking and I have had lots of fun. I started it when I did because there seemed to be a natural lull in my textile teaching and to be honest I need to supplement my income. But I seem to have reached a point where it has stopped being fun. I have been churning out cakes that I haven't enjoyed making, trying to meet the demands of customers which somehow seems to defeat the point of working for myself. Nor was I prepared for the absolute exhaustion and chronic back pain after a day on my feet baking all day. Not to mention the endless cleaning, shopping, and book keeping that had to be done too. And although I have never stopped teaching machine embroidery people seem to have assumed that I'd given up, so it will be good just to focus on textiles again. I think it brought it home to me when someone on Instagram commented "Back to the textiles then?" I never stopped!
I thought I could just cut back so at the end of September I stopped supplying the Farm shop and cafe but this week I decided to stop altogether... no more new cake orders. And the relief is huge. I will do some Christmas baking for friends and family over the next few weeks but after that my baking will be solely for pleasure and I can regain that joy of making a cake for us to eat, of experimenting with recipes that I want to try.
I don't regret that I've done this over the past couple of years and if I hadn't tried it I think it would have been a bigger regret but now I'm looking forward to spending more time being creative with my textiles and artwork, possibly incorporating painting... and of course teaching. But I know I don't want to fall back into old comfortable ways. I will be looking at new ideas and fresh approaches... at least that is the plan.
The two cakes here were my last two made to order and I was pleased that they were both for friends... despite the drama of the doctor figure falling off and breaking the night before it was due to be delivered!
And you know that thing I said at the beginning of this post about doing too much... this week I added Nordic Walking to my list of things tried. It's just a four week introductory course and I've wanted to try it for a long time... so don't judge me okay! And like my baking business it's a sixty x sixty... and you've got to try something to know whether you like it or not.
I guess somethings don't really ever change!